Where, O where can my Jesus be?

I had an amazing experience with God in India. God was speaking to my heart the entire time and I was able to see amazing God work in miraculous ways. When I got back home, though I was sad that I had to leave all the beautiful people I had met, God was still speaking and moving.

However, the next couple of weeks to follow I had encountered a kinda spiritual funk. It was like I was hitting a wall in my walk with Him. I began to ask “how could I have gone from one extreme to the next with my relationship with God?” I mean I was still being a good little Christian reading my Bible, praying, and going to church. I began to be discouraged and agree with a lot of lies by saying things like “I should be back in India...maybe it wouldn’t be like this if I had stayed there” or “Maybe it’s suppose to be like this…I probably reached as far as I could with my walk with God”.

Last Tuesday I had the house to myself and I decided to have a mini worship service in my family room. So I blasted the Hillsong, but what came out of me was not a sweet little song for Jesus or overflowing love, it was actually anger! I began to frustratingly ask God “Why did you leave me? You said you would stick with me…I just don’t understand”. Of course, I did not give God the opportunity to answer and let it go.

The next day my friends and I drove to Redding for a Jesus Culture Conference. When I got there, God was waiting for me. He was waiting for me the entire time I was struggling, but thos time I came hungry for Him and had expected Him…something I really didn’t do my past couple of weeks. The entire time I spent there, I was there waiting on God and truly worshipping Him letting go of everything. When I did that, God began to fill me with what I desired, which was Him. Several times I encountered an overwhelming joy from His Spirit that made me laugh hysterically during worship (which may have scared other people, but who cares… I went for it).

Right now, it’s like I met God, but still haven’t even begun to know the vastness of who He is. He is absolutely indescribable and I am in awe of His power and love. I know that I belong to Him, I walk in His freedom, and I am addicted to His presence. I am sorry it took a conference to figure this out, but no more “stepping in and out” of His presence, just me going after God and remaining in God. This is what I want and I am certain God wants this too.

So go ahead. Stop playing it safe. No more games.Take the first step and get God.

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty” Psalm 91:1

Melissa